The Replacements

"The Replacements" will not please those who like their cinema to break new ground. We've all seen, or consciously avoided, films wherein a ragtag bunch of misfits (each with their very own distinguishing comic hook) must band together under the guidance of a gruff but loving coach, set aside their differences, overcome their demons, and show the other, more acclaimed teams a thing or two as they complete an improbable rise to the championship. That's your plot here, too, with pro football as the sport. This film's setting, based on the NFL strike of 1987, provides the few new-seeming gibes against greedy footballers, but these are so predictable as to fall right into line with the rest of the film. In addition, costar Brooke Langton looks as much like a Sandra Bullock as you can be without actually being a Sandra Bullock, so seeing her across from main character Keanu Reeves is oddly familiar (although not unpleasant). All in all, the schematic layout of this film promises a sleepy cliche festival.

Yet "The Replacements" brings quite a fair amount of humor; if not quite a touchdown's worth, then at least a field goal and a safety. How come? It may be predictable, but the writers and performers execute it impeccably. Numerous lines will force even the most jaded cinephile to laugh out loud; while the movie avoids obvious putdown lines (except out of the mouths of bad characters), it nonetheless explores the possibilities of purely verbal humor thoroughly. The characters' comic hooks, while predictable, are nonetheless well-chosen (a soccer wizard kicker, a crazed SWAT man-linebacker, a deaf tight end) and developed deftly. Particular credit for this must go to Orlando "Make 7-Up Yours" Jones as a shoplifting wideout, all earnest fear alternating with earnest cockiness. His "I Will Survive" scene is a priceless, priceless thing, an absolute crackup. Recognition should also be bestowed upon real-life sumo Ace Yonamine as a sumo-offensive lineman, as he throws himself into his role with a gusto that would shame lesser men (both literally and figuratively).

In addition, the wacky situations the various characters get into because of their comic hooks are actually funny, as opposed to the drivel often foisted upon the avid sports-movie viewer. A scene involving the replacement cheerleaders, who have been recruited from a local gentleman's club, and the mayhem they instigate with their peculiar brand of sideline antics is particularly noteworthy in this regard, as is another scene in which a different offensive lineman takes defense of his quarterback to a lethal level.

Finally, a feel-good vibe spreads itself all over this picture, as well it better in an uplifting sports comedy. Even as coach Gene Hackman is uttering laughers like, "We need to confront our fear before we can win our games," we sympathize with the object of the game: to uplift us and make us believe in ourselves. A sappy message, but something many of us need to hear more often than we do.

(Ahem. Football fans and natives of the Washington area will wonder why the "Washington Sentinels" of the film play in Baltimore's PSInet Stadium, home of that city's Ravens; indeed, they will wonder why the entire film is pretty much filmed in Baltimore, despite the occasional long shots of Washington to remind us what city we are supposedly in. In addition, the owner forgets that there are more than 22 people on a football team, but that's okay (sort of) because the film does too. Also none of the football action seems to have even a tenuous basis in reality, even with the commendable addition of Pat Summerall and John Madden; these people simply do not move like football players, or even bad football players. Constant irritants. At least the Dallas team is authentically evil.)

So "The Replacements" does not transcend its cliches. Very few films nowadays do. It nonetheless plays imaginatively with them for two hours, bringing commendable invention to the limited problems of the genre. And, for once, the ending (in this case a noble voiceover by Hackman) doesn't overreach, and becomes quite affecting for it. There's nothing awful about "The Replacements," and a lot that's good about it. Such may well be a recipe for a breezy summer evening's entertainment.

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