The Mexican

The title of the new film "The Mexican" refers to a beautiful antique pistol, cursed by its history and chased by numerous thieves. The film contains near-forgotten tales of violently doomed romance, senseless killings, reckless driving, deadly struggles within a criminal hierarchy, and Gene Hackman.

Despite all this, your enjoyment of "The Mexican" will depend almost entirely on just how cute you think Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts are. And if you're not completely convinced that they're two of the most adorable performers on the silver screen, you're likely to go away unfulfilled.

This circumstance arises because "The Mexican" is an unholy union of the two most cliche-prone genres in modern cinema, the romantic comedy and the action film, conceived by writer J.H. Wyman and brought into being by director Gore Verbinski.

Our scenario finds Pitt playing Jerry Welbach, an average dumb guy who has been forced by unfortunate circumstance to work as a bag man for the local crime syndicate. Roberts plays Samantha Barzel, his live-in girlfriend, who is not especially enthusiastic about Jerry's activities. As his last job, Jerry is assigned, under threat of death, to go to Mexico and pick up the above-mentioned eponymous pistol. Samantha decides that she's had just about enough of Jerry's criminal activities, regardless of whatever death threats have been made, and stomps off to Vegas to begin a new life.

However, Jerry encounters numerous difficulties in retrieving the pistol, both from outside and inside the criminal organization. In fact, he encounters so many difficulties that a heavy named Leroy (James Gandolfini, aka Tony Soprano) is employed to hold Samantha hostage, as insurance against any "funky business," in his words. Thus our two plot tracks emerge: Jerry trying to get the gun, Samantha held hostage and hoping against hope that he can. Along the way, they learn numerous lessons about relationships, as you might expect in a romantic comedy. They also witness or participate in numerous pointless discharges of firearms, as you might expect in an action film.

Normally, in an unholy genre union like "The Mexican," one or the other of the genres ends up taking over the film about midway through. It is to the credit of Wyman and Verbinski that "The Mexican" mixes styles all the way through, so much so that Roberts actually gets a kick-ass line, which could have been taken from a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger film, in the film's climactic scene. Numerous interesting things result from this mix.

Chief among these is Gandolfini's character, who we eventually learn is a sensitive, philosophical homosexual, in addition to being a cold-blooded killer. Obviously, a character like this can easily turn into an empty stereotype, in a number of different ways; Gandolfini manages to unite all the aspects of Leroy's character into a whole person, both touching and menacing, often at the same time. It is a unique and impressive achievement, and one which should get Gandolfini plenty of work when the clock runs out on "The Sopranos" in two years.

Wyman and Verbinski also do a good job uniting the two genres using their common element: humor. When "The Mexican" goes for the laughs, it gets them. Gringo-mocking humor runs through the Mexico scenes, and it never fails to amuse given the stupidity of the gringos involved. Scenes in which Roberts and Pitt discuss their relationship, larded with modern communication buzzwords and therapy-speak, almost always amuse, and the numerous incongruities of Gandolfini's character are played sensitively for laughs when possible. And although this material is paper-thin, Verbinski directs with enough care and flair to smooth over some of the draggier scenes.

But, in the end, a union of genres as diametrically opposed as these are needs both sides to be almost perfect. The crime-story part of this, including Hackman's magnetic cameo, is quite well done. Furthermore, it is good to report that Brad Pitt is just as adorable as this film needs him to be. He plays his dumb but well-meaning character with such aplomb and good humor that it's almost impossible not to end up rooting for him.

That leaves Roberts. Julia Roberts is an acquired taste for many people, and no one is going to acquire the taste from this film. Samantha is written to be aggressively shallow, and Roberts plays her narcissism to the hilt, so much so that Samantha comes off not as a person but as a stupid ego with a smile. The film coddles her; Pitt and Gandolfini never directly challenge her, but merely try to placate her, and one ends up wishing that either man would have the nerve to call her on her self-absorbed tantrums. Nowhere are we shown why anyone would be in love with this woman, apart from a certain ephemeral cuteness, and Roberts certainly doesn't bring it out. The romantic-comedy portion of this film, therefore, feels somewhat meaningless and empty.

If you love Julia Roberts in everything she does, and there is a sizable part of the population that feels just that way, you'll enjoy "The Mexican." If not, you could enjoy "The Mexican" as a flawed but interesting attempt at something you don't see every day. Or you could just go see "Save the Last Dance" and "3000 Miles to Graceland." After all, in the movies, one good half and one mediocre half rarely leave the viewer wholly entertained.

MY OWN SELF-ABSORPTION, OR, DELUSIONS OF RELEVANCE

As many of you will have noticed, I missed the second Maryland-Duke game ("Hey, Mrs. Battier! Look Over Here!") to watch this film. I didn't realize the screening and the game were on the same day until pretty late, and I felt that I had a responsibility to attend the screening because I took the pass. With the help of the estimable Robert Kahn, I have come up with a scenario which provides a better reason for missing the game than notions of "personal responsibility":

Coach Gary Williams: Now, I know there's one more thing you're all worried about...

Lonny Baxter: Yeah, Coach, we're all concerned about whether "The Mexican" is gonna be good.

Magic Juan Dixon: They're having the screening tonight, Coach, and I know a lot of us think we should be there.

Steve Blake: I'm wondering if the mix of romance and action is successful.

Mike (The 7-Foot Finance Major) Mardesich: I'm wondering whether or not Gore Verbinski can recover from the commercial disaster that was "Mouse Hunt" with Pitt and Roberts acting for him.

Danny Miller: I just want to see Julia.

Williams: I understand your concerns. That's why we sent Andrew Lindemann Malone down to the screening.

Chris Wilcox: Who's that?

Terrence Morris: Hey, freshman, he's only the best movie reviewer we've got!

Baxter: Malone, he always represents Silver Spring.

Dixon: I don't think anyone is worried now. We'll just pick up the Diamondback on Thursday and we'll know all we need to know about "The Mexican."

Williams: Okay, you don't have any more distactions. Now go out there and beat Duke!

All: YEAAAAAAAH!!!

Hey, Duke sucks! And we continue to beat the hell out of them! And stupid Danny Miller is at Notre Dame, which sucks as well. So much sucking! How appropriate that it took place at the end of a review of this movie!

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