Josie and the Pussycats

Have you ever wondered why most of the people on this campus wear the same clothes as the rest of the people on this campus? Or why all of us decided a year ago that we needed scooters, because we didn't have enough ways to injure ourselves previously? Or why it is not only possible but profitable to take a group of attractive men or women with no musical talent or experiene and shape them into a hype-driven phenomenon? Ever think that these things can't possibly have been decided upon by a group of humans acting rationally, that there must be some secret fortress where evil capitalist overlords decide what should be cool and then somehow brainwash the rest of us into doing, liking and especially buying it?

That's the premise of "Josie and the Pussycats," anyway, as expressed by a cameoing Eugene Levy in an informational film describing the activities undertaken in that very fortress. This fortress is owned by Mega Records, which is run by evil capitalist overlord Fiona (Parker Posey), who is pretty pleased with herself, because her lieutenant Wyatt (Alan Cumming) has just signed a promising group called (you guessed it) Josie and the Pussycats. These three babealicious women - Josie (Rachael Leigh Cook), the leader, Valerie (Rosario Dawson), the smart one, and Melanie (Tara Reid), the drummer - have just what it takes to serve as musical vectors for the subliminal messages which previously convinced women across America to purchase several pairs of tight black pants and men across America that Britney Spears' gigantic synthetic breasts aren't scary.

The secret fortress sounds more plausible all the time, doesn't it?

As written and directed by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan ("A Very Brady Sequel"), "Josie and the Pussycats" is a cannily constructed film, with a clever premise whose merit is not undermined by the fact that it also served as the last half of a recent episode of "The Simpsons." Unlike so much flashy teen trash of recent vintage, "Josie" appears to have an outlook, and pursues that outlook with some vigor. Its dialogue mocks appearances, its heroines shun conformity, its plot celebrates liberation from the media machine.

And the film brims with style and unexpected but irrepressible humor. "Josie" flashes hip, funny meta-references to the cartoon series and comic book upon which it is based, and which it wisely decides to ignore outside of hip meta-referencing. It has Posey attempting to do a Dr. Claw laught and failing miserably but hilariously. It has the abovementioned Levy in the most laughter-inducing cameo appearance of any kind in years. The Josie and the Pussycats songs are pure delicious bubblegum pop, with catchy hooks, smart-cute lyrics and carefree melodies. All the performances burst with energy, as the actors seem perfectly pleased to be playing the roles they're playing, and the humor flows naturally from their performances. "Josie and the Pussycats" spills over with brio and charms with enthusiasm.

It also leaves you feeling vaguely queasy. After all, this picture wasn't made by Backyard Basement Enterprises or anything, but rather by Universal Pictures and MGM Studios, major media conglomerates which would probably like nothing better than to brainwash teenage boys and girls into seeing this film, if only that were possible. The ad placements are funny - an Evian billboard on the wall of a fishtank, a room's decor based entirely on the Target logo - but they also hawk real companies which presumably paid said media conglomerates mucho dinero to be used as objects of good-natured fun.

Cook, Dawson and Reid are pretty good actresses, but all this film requires them to be is attractive - and they are much more attractive than most human beings can ever hope to be, even when they say that appearances don't matter. Fiona and Wyatt are the ugly people, and they're also evil. Eugene Levy is by far the ugliest person in the film, and he's evil's spokesman.

It gets worse. The film's dialogue derides the odd, unappealing fashions which has someone decided are trendy, but at the same time, the romance between Josie and longtime almost-beau Alan M. is facilitated by a dress which could have come from J. Lo's closet. In fact, this film is in love with its fashions; otherwise, why would all its characters wear them with such aplomb? And why would they be photographed in such admiring fashion?

Furthermore, if this were really a satire, Josie and the Pussycats would be an awful band. In fact, even before they blow up, they have been blessed with the savviest production and songwriting money can buy...kind of like Eden's Crush, or 'NSync, or Dream, or whatever other attractive, talent-free, commercially enabled band you care to name.

"Josie and the Pussycats" wants to have its pop and drink it too. And it can't be done. In the world we moviegoers live in when we exit the theater, cash rules everything around us. Any attempts to deny that truth by showing corporate culture fixers as bumbling, insecure villains, rather than the ruthlessly efficient, narcissistic villains they are, will do about as much for the cause of individuality in the face of corporate groupthink as Benedict Arnold did for the good ol' U.S. of A.

But hey, who am I to tell you to resist the pleasures of finely crafted popular entertainment? Go see it. Most of it is really fun. And you need to do something about those shoes, too.

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