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Movie Reviews

End of Days

Arnold Schwarzenegger has always been at his best in movies in which he is invincible. Schwarzie's invulnerability to such minor setbacks as bullets, explosions, and heavy machinery made "Terminator 2" a better film than the original "Terminator," made "Commando" and "Predator" not only watchable but enjoyable, and made Schwarzenegger popular enough to embark on a series of disastrously unentertaining films like "Jingle All The Way" and "Junior." Arnold's public has waited through the aforementioned tripe and tepid crap like "Eraser," hoping desperately for one more film to reaffirm that Arnold is of a breed apart. So when the producers of "End of Days" needed someone to battle Satan and save the world with just his wits, his pure heart, and his four separate Glocks and machine gun capable of firing long-range explosive charges, they knew who to turn to.

As the film opens, Arnold almost commits suicide, but decides against it when his friend walks in. Next, he makes himself an energy shake out of coffee, Pepto-Bismol, vodka, ancient Chinese food, and pizza he found on the floor. Obviously, the world has laid Arnold low, and later we learn how. But Arnold's basic invulnerability shines through even in these dark, private moments. No one that buff could ever kill himself. No one who could stomach that disgusting concoction could ever be stopped by a mere fallen angel. Arnold stalks implacably through this film, less like a man than a walking granite statue with a permanent five o'clock shadow. Injuries that would kill ten lesser men only give Arnold stitches and a desire to fight again. Satan can kill lesser men by merely flicking his cigarette ash on the ground, but Arnold always eludes his grasp. When Arnold screams, it is as if the world has ripped itself in two; when Arnold punches, houses tremble; when Arnold shoots, the desperate will behind every shot makes itself felt in its target. Also, when Arnold wisecracks, it's a welcome relief; he has some classic stupid puns in this film. Arnold's positivist attitude that your best protection from anything is a weapon never falters and never fails him. (And he even gets to have one of those classic "I'm arming myself and don't ask me why" scenes!) From gunfights to beatings to what seems like it's going to be the end of existence, we always believe along with Arnold that he can pull it off, that whatever happens, he will live to fight another day.

It's a good thing for the universe, too, because he has some rapacious adversaries. Chief among these is, of course, Satan, here played by Gabriel Byrne. Byrne wisely does not try to redo the cackling glee that Al Pacino simultaneously perfected and buried in "The Devil's Advocate." Byrne's is a suave Devil, quick to anger but slow to show it, a lover of the flesh but a subdued dresser. He speaks in even, modulated, sane tones. When Byrne raises his voice just slightly, you know that's when all hell is about to break loose. In our fin-de-siecle Sodom and Gomorrah, Byrne seems to be saying, the Devil is the only one with his wits about him. It's a wonderful performance. Robin Tunney, as Satan's prey, also does a terrific job. Not just a virginal potential sacrifice, Tunney gives her character a welcome depth and psychological coherence. What happens to her bewilders her, but at the same time she expects it, feels as if it fulfills something she was born to. Tunney manages to give these contradictory emotions simultaneous life, and so makes her character both vulnerable and strong. As if that weren't enough, she also learns to use a Glock rather quickly--always a plus.

Peter Hyams directed "The Relic" before this film, and "End of Days" shares many virtues with that expose of the gigantic reptiles inhabiting Chicago's Field Museum. Hyams' cinematographic palette is rich, embracing shadows and halflight and tapestries of blues and grays and blazing reds and yellows. He also knows how to construct an action scene, directing deftly and purposefully when Arnold and Tunney have to (for example) detach a subway car from the engine in order to try to kill Satan. And he definitely knows how to piles on the suspense; this film leaves you breathless. (John Debney's grippingly apocalyptic original score, with its inventive ostinatos on the first four notes of the "Dies Irae," also helps the movie out.)

As in all great Arnold films, some sections of this movie simply don't work. Byrne, for example, is required to deliver some stupid and cliched dialogue about how the Devil is your real friend and God is mean. Schwarzenegger makes an idiotic decision that makes his task much more complicated midway through the film (although no one ever said Schwarzie was long on brainpower). And the very end of the movie is too sugary for words. Still, Schwarzenegger fans (and you know who you are), your prayers have been heeded. "End of Days" may not exactly be great cinema, although it does have a few of the elements thereof. But it is, without a doubt, a great Schwarzenegger movie.

 

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